5 months clean

Ok so I've been clean for about 5 months now. And after today I'm having that craving of getting out that last bottle and just taking 4 pills. But some reason I don't. I can't. I don't know what it is but I don't do it because of Kaylee. It's nothing that she says or does, just her. Once Kaylee had to litterally save my life. I took a lot of pills and cut my arms and was about to pass out and die. She came to my rescue. She made me stay away and made me throw up and just took care of me. I think the thought of her having to save my life is what knocked it into perspective for me. I don't do it because of her. Not for her. I don't want her to have to do it again. I don't want her to be alone at such a young age. I want to die with her when we're old and grey not young and still have our life in front of us. So I guess I don't do it because I know if I do that's it. There is no going back. I don't want to lose her. I love her too much to do anything so selfish. I love her.